


Verde is the Best Body Disposal Option

by Seito



Series: Yellow Tulip in a Sea of Red [KHRrarepairweek 2018] [7]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: M/M, Pining, Unreliable Narrator, body disposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-25 21:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14986181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seito/pseuds/Seito
Summary: When all else fails, Verde is the best body disposal option.(Or Verde is as dense as a brick, Reborn tries animal courting techniques and fails, and this is the world’s best (or worst) knock knock joke gone wrong.)





	Verde is the Best Body Disposal Option

**Author's Note:**

> a very late second entry for Storm Day [Body Disposal] for khrrarepairweek2018

KNOCK KNOCK!

 

Verde groaned, head pounding in time with the knocking at his door. Who was visiting at- he fumbled for a clock - at 11pm at night? Wait… 11pm? He was sure it had been morning just a few- nevermind! What was important here was someone was visiting while he was in the middle of research!

 

He flung opened the door and there was Reborn. Verde scowled. “What do you want?” he asked. 

 

What chaos would the World’s Greatest Hitman bring to his door this time? 

 

“I needed a place to dispose a body,” Reborn said, gesturing the black bag at his feet. “And you said you needed fresh bodies.” 

 

Verde stared at him. Genius, Inventor, and multiple doctorates and masters in several degrees, Verde was, beyond a doubt, one of the smartest people in the world. So he asked the very most excellent intelligent question in the world. “What?”

 

No one said his brilliant brain had to be functioning at 100% all the time though. 

 

“I need a place to dispose a body,” Reborn repeated. “And you said you needed fresh bodies.” 

 

“When did I say that?” Verde asked, racking his brain. There was nothing in his fuzzy recollection of memories that recalled such a conversation. In fact, when was the last time he even saw Reborn? Wasn’t it something about Luce? A party, baby shower(???), and the excellent alcohol. There was definitely alcohol involved.  

 

“You said you needed them ‘For Science!’” Reborn said in a dull tone. “Are you going take the body or am I going to have to call Fon?” 

 

Drats. Now he was going to have to take the body. It was important. Very important if he said ‘For Science!’ even if he didn’t remember why he had said. 

 

“Give it here,” Verde snapped, taking the body bag and slamming the door shut. 

 

Now, where on earth could he stash this body?

 

-.-.-.-

 

KNOCK KNOCK!

 

“Newton’s Apple, who the hell is it- fuck it’s you Reborn,” Verde snapped, flinging open his door.

 

Reborn raised an eyebrow, another black bag at his feet. “So you don’t want another fresh body?”

 

Technically the first one was still in the freezer because Verde couldn’t remember what experiment he was going to run. “Give it here,” Verde snapped before slamming the door shut. 

 

What the fuck was he going to do with two bodies?

 

-.-.-.-

 

KNOCK KNOCK! 

 

“If you cause me to fail my experiment I will dissect- Why are you back here again Reborn?” Verde asked. It was beginning to become a pattern, a pattern Verde didn’t quite like. 

 

Sure enough there was a black bag at Reborn’s feet.   

 

“Got another body,” Reborn stated, smug. 

 

“I can see that,” Verde said, voice drier than a scorching desert. 

 

“Not to your liking?” Reborn asked. 

 

How was it this infuriating man managed to make even the simplest question sound mocking to Verde’s ears? “Just give it here,” Verde said, grabbing the bag and hauling it inside. He slammed the door shut, not letting another word pass from Reborn’s lips. 

 

-.-.-.-

 

KNOCK KNOCK!

 

“I’m in the middle of-!” Verde scowled, pausing mid sentence. 

 

Standing there, looking too much like a cat who got the cream was Reborn with yet another body bag. However, something was different. Namely the sparkly red bow on the top of the bag. 

 

“What is this?” Verde asked, glaring at the offensive ribbon, practically willing it to catch fire. 

 

“I thought I should start wrapping them up for you,” Reborn said. That smug look on his face only got worse, rubbing the wrong away against Verde’s skin.

 

“It’s already in a bag,” Verde said. 

 

“It could be prettier,” Reborn said, miffed. As if… it was wrong that the body bag didn’t look pretty.

 

“It’s a dead body,” Verde deadpanned. Had all that chaos finally gotten to Reborn’s head? Had he snapped? (Verde didn’t need any more insane friends, he alone was enough of a mad scientist, thank you very much.) 

 

He sighed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Nevermind, just give it here,” he demanded. There was no point in trying to reason with Reborn. The chaotic energies he gave off was like poison to mind and eroded all logical reasoning.

 

Hmm…

 

Poison… Didn’t he have an experiment that tested how fast poison could interact with the body? Where did he put those notes? 

 

He slammed the door shut. 

 

-.-.-.-

 

KNOCK KNOCK!

 

“I don’t have time for this!” Verde flung open the door. His poison experiment was going splendidly. Who knew what kind of results would happen while he was looking away. 

 

“I have another body,” Reborn announced. 

 

“Good! I needed more test sub- what the fuck Reborn?” Verde asked, cutting off mid sentence. 

 

Gone was the body bag. Instead, in an open wooden coffin that was standing next to Reborn, the dead body, pale and looking drained of blood, was covered from head to toe in flowers. Red roses to be exact. Was this some kind of performance art? Were the red roses to symbolize the blood Reborn had obviously drained? How conceited could he get? 

 

Yes, yes, yes. World’s Greatest Hitman. The jerk didn’t have to rub it in Verde’s face all the time. 

 

Reborn had opened his mouth to reply, but Verde cut him off. “There’s a limit to your obsession with death. This is morbid, even for you,” Verde accused. He reached out and grabbed the dead body and pulled it free from the bed of flowers. 

 

“Now go away,” Verde said, shooing Reborn away. “Delicate experiment.” 

 

He slammed the door shut. 

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

KNOCK KNOCK!

 

“Did you bring me another body?” Verde asked, opening the door. He was almost done with his poison research! There were just a few more cases to try. He just needed another body or two to test on and since Reborn had been his only visitor lately, that had to be him. 

 

It was Reborn. 

 

But no dead body. 

 

Verde felt a twinge of betrayal. No dead body? What was the point of Reborn coming here if there wasn’t a dead body?

 

Instead Reborn was just standing there, hands in his pocket. The infuriating smug look was still on his face, a sly smirk resting on his lips. 

 

“Chaos, I am taking you out to dinner,” Reborn announced. 

 

“I’m not hungry,” Verde snapped. “And if you don’t have a dead body, go away.” 

 

Reborn raised an eyebrow. “You are as dense as a brick,” Reborn said. 

 

Excuse me-?! The nerve! 

 

“I tried to follow Fon’s advice to give you gifts,” Reborn continued. “Except you still didn’t notice. So we’re going with my plan A.” 

 

“What are you talking about?” Verde asked, irritated.

 

Reborn pulled out a bundle of rope and the next thing Verde knew he was falling to the ground, tied up. “We’re going out to dinner. It’s a date. I’m not taking no for answer,” Reborn said, throwing Verde over his shoulder.  

 

Verde stared at him, running Reborn’s words over in his head again and again. … A date? A DATE? As in- a DATE?! Why would- that didn’t make any- Verde felt his brain break a little. So he asked the very most excellent intelligent question in the world. 

 

“WHAT?!” 

 

Well, no one said his brilliant brain had to be function at 100% all the time.

**Author's Note:**

> please leave a review on your way out


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